Wednesday, February 2, 2011

EPA catagorizes a new hazzard to the environment: MILK!!!!

I am not making this up…

The Manderins in Washington have truly lost their minds and have once again demonstrated that a little bit of knowledge is a dangerous thing and a little bit of power is a catastrophe in the making…

The EPA has gone from defender of the environment and guardian against industrial pollution to a repository of inane and banal individuals with far too much power and too much  time on their hands to abuse that power.

Not content to rail against BP and oil slicks in the Gulf of Mexico, they have a new target to focus on: Bossy the cow…..

In a regulatory move reminiscent of the prohibition on sales of peanuts in Lee County, Alabama, (after sundown on Wednesday’s), our federal government has now come up with laws on spilled milk.  EPA has decided that since milk contains a low density "oil" in the form of lipids (fats), it has the authority to force farmers and the dairy industry as a whole,  to comply with a host of new regulations: to file "emergency management" plans to show how they will cope with spilled milk, and how farmers will train "first responders" and build "containment facilities" if there is a flood of spilled milk.  The question is now, what is the “threshold” of where one must comply with these new regulations?

At the moment, it seems to be concentrated on industrial sized operations but as we all know, there is always "mission creep" when government agencies are involved and people are looking to justify their exorbitant paychecks.   The mind boggles at the possibilities…..

I can see the newspapers now……

“EPA sent enforcement teams to the Parker Elementary School in response to reports of spilled milk in the lunch room.  Students were evacuated by EMS personnel and HAZMAT teams summoned to contain and clean up the spill.  School district officials were cited for child endangerment and violation of federal law as it relates to control of potentially hazardous materials.”

“Joe Snerdly, local dairy farmer, was fined for tripping over and spilling a bucket of milk and not reporting it to federal officials and for not having an “action plan” in place to contain the spill.  Local authorities were summoned (at great expense…) to survey the environmental impact of the spilling of less than 1 liter of this toxic substance.  Officials were unavailable for comment pending a revised Environmental Impact Study.”

But all this begs the question…   Will this law be limited to a particular species ??  What happens if other species can be covered by this law other than just bovines?

I can see the news reports now…..

“Mildred Smith, 20, of Kalamazoo, was arrested today for creating a hazardous work environment when she inadvertently discharged breast milk at her place of work today….     Ms. Smith, the mother of a 2 month old girl, allowed a small amount of fluid to discharge from her person forcing an immediate evacuation of the building and response by EMS and HAZMAT teams.  The quantity of discharge was reported minimal, but given the discharge contained lipids that are a naturally occurring oils, the response was deemed necessary by EPA officials”

“The US Navy, in response to EPA regulations governing toxic discharges from ships at sea in and about  the coastal waters of the United States, has forbidden sailors to “relive themselves in a sexual manner” due to the danger to the ecosystem and to the ship’s environment.  This addition to naval regulations was instituted when EPA ruled that since male semen contains a substance known as Prostaglandin, a fatty acid substance which makes up a major portion of male seminal fluid, officers and men deployed either ashore or afloat are hereby  instructed not to discharge seminal fluids into the shipboard environment or to allow untreated discharges into the open sea.  Violations of this regulation are punishable under the UCMJ and under federal environmental regulations….”

“Los Angeles County officials have raided several San Fernando Valley locations known to be production sites of adult entertainment in an effort to curb the unchecked and unregulated discharges of toxic substances like male semen and female lactations.  Concerns by EPA officials have nothing to do with the potential biotoxin levels but center on concerns that such discharges in vast quantities as are commonly generated in the multi-billion dollar porn industry, might create the potential for Exxon Valdez sized “ slicks”  should these discharges reach the open ocean….”

The absurdity of Washington knows no bounds…….

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